You can meet yourself in many ways. While Stephan opted for life as a monk, sometimes in solitary retreat, I was living family life with children. He had Lama Zopa Rinpoche, I was blessed with Ian Radcliff, a wise and kind therapist-teacher. One day, when I once again in despair cried about not knowing what to do to with my unbearable pain, the man finally had it. “For God’s sake, woman! ” he exclaimed. “Stop asking what to do. Be with it!” That was my turning point.
Transformation through letting be
The thing about seemingly unbearable feelings is exactly that: they seem so, while we keep them at bay. And when we ask “What to do?” what we really mean is “How to get rid of?” But once you open up and dive into it, you will discover that it is bearable. You will not break. It may feel darker, more suffocating, lonelier, more terrifying, but it will not kill you and it will pass. Not only will it pass, it will transform and new actions will arise organically, not from your little logic mind so caught up in goals that may not even be your own, but from a deeper, wiser, more authentic part, that which we call essence, soul, Buddha nature.
We are on this journey together
Most of the time change does not happen overnight. And that’s a drag. But if you seek travel companions the lifelong journey towards wholeness may proof to be worth it, heart opening, mind blowing, painful yes, but bearable and even enjoyable.
A soft Rain of Kindness will fall on you when you take this to heart:
Be with yourself. And not alone.
Listen to a guided meditation on how to be with emotional discomfort: